Wait

They don’t love you like I love you

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Pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says to the guy: “Mate, you’ve got a steering wheel down your pants.” Pirate says, “Arrr, I know, it’s driving me nuts!”

(I’m going to try this one at Baybeats)

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I’ve been told that my blog’s boring (who reads this stuff anyway?), so just for fun I’ll tell you about this dream I had when I was taking an evening nap: My family was at some random McDonald’s for dinner and we wanted to order food — for some reason they had an à la carte menu going on that evening. I walked over to one of their waiters (yes, Macs has waiters in this dream), asked for a menu and got ignored. I walked to their ordering counter and asked for one, and got snubbed by some guy wearing Shrek ears and a smug smile telling me I couldn’t order that day because I wasn’t wearing a special red McDonald’s watch with a sno-globe on top, and only people with that sno-globe watch could order. I got so pissed off I punched him in the face several times and got the menu from some other waiter who got freaked out — then I walked back to the table with bleeding knuckles and passed my brother the menu.

Then I woke up.

Violent tendencies appearing Jbarks-style, what?